Friday, May 22, 2009

top 25 fridays: rating the letters of the alphabet

where every friday we will delve, dissect and rank very important things.

today's top 25: best letters of the alphabet.
(criteria includes sound, shape, words where this letter can be found and "je ne sais quoi")

1. y (the famous sometimes-y is the object of every letter's envy)
2. k ("c" in diguise)
3. m (as dignified as any ambassador out there)
4. g (the silent killer)
5. q (the beauty of rarity)
6. i (the top-ranked vowel; signifies imaginary numbers)
7. w (the classy thug)
8. j (always a wonderful surprise, wherever it flies)
9. p (necessary to form penguin)
10. e (useful in conjoined twin-form)
11. z (bonus points for being the most onomatopoeiac)
12. n (m's little brother. good pedigree)
13. s (hard, sharp, clever, sneaky)
14. h (too humble)
15. b (the average joe of letters)
16. o (zero's ugly cousin)
17. r (dangerously volatile)
18. l (great letter; ugly in lowrcase. the butterface of the alphabet)
19. d (happy to fly under the radar)
20. x (needs better marketing. too rare)
21. t (better when iced)
22. c (too wimpy)
23. f (too ugly)
24. v (too similar to the roman numeral 5)
25. a (too pompous. how's it feel at the back of the line there, "a?")
unranked: u (half a "w." lame)


  1. I take issue with your placement of the letter "D" as 19. The letter d is awesome and powerful. If you want a powerful word, you start it with d. Destroy, dominate, defenestrate, demolish, dinosaur, Dave Kushner, D Cups. And Defense wins games.

  2. fire meet fire: death, denial, donkey (stupid animal), donkey kong (frustrating game because the stupid mario dude doesn't jump), doink, dizzy (piggybacking the z's), devil, the dutch, double-dutch, dakota fanning, dung, and ding-dong, the most grating phrase/noise of all-time. [considering "d" deserves a spot in the 20s]