Jobby vs. Umbrellas

Ladies and gentlemen: when walking down crowded streets in the pouring rain, please make your best effort to avoid hitting others with your umbrella. Like most things in this country, the umbrellas today are bigger and better and as a result more and more people are getting plowed down. I'd like to also point out that some of these "modern umbrellas" have extremey sharp points. It's true, and yet there are bush league umbrella-holders out there who fail to realize they are basically carrying a spear. I recommend that if you see someone walking down the street with one of these harpoon umbrellas while on their cell phone, you should run as fast as you can away, go to a supermarket, buy a pack of marshmallows, and stick them on the end of the point. Society thanks you.

written by Josh "Jobby" Benedek, the editor of the "Jobby vs. The World" section where he will shed a light on everything that's wrong (and right) with the world. Josh is also the world's foremost nickname-giver. [josh is the ultimate warrior to the eastern side of the photo below]