Sunday, April 26, 2009

an ode to "time"

(oh, and feel free to comment. it's not illegal).

did you ever wonder why are people always complaining about not having enough “time?”
it's because time is awesome, that’s why. so let's all take a step back, maybe even two, and appreciate the wonderful ways that time improves our lives.

tragedy + time = comedy
history + time = repeats itself
sunburn + time = tan
tan + time = cancer
science + time = cure for cancer
science + time + fashion = futuristic lab-coats
good movie + time = remake with sexier actors.
batter + time + preheated oven = brownies
time + overtime = inflated stats
alcohol + time = pregnancy
pregnancy + time = baby
baby + time = bitter, jaded, adult
bitter jaded adult + time = consumer
bitter, jaded, adult + time + romance = eternally happy individual
eternally, happy individual + time + anonymous phone call about wife's infidelity = bitter, jaded, dejected adult
bitter, jaded, dejected adult + time = ultra-consumer
ultra-consumer + time = tragedy
tragedy + time = comedy
tragedy = comedy – time
tragedy – comedy = -time + time = time travel
time travel + time = kill baby hitler + load up on honus wagner baseball cards
kill baby hitler + load up on honus wagner baseball cards = paradox
paradox + time = you disappear from photographs like in back to the future
back to the future + time = remake + sexier actors (circa 2023)

is there something out there that you think is particularly ode-worthy?
share it with us at


  1. I must say if there was ever a "what rocks" posting contest, this one would win. And not just because I have a thing for the author, who may or may not be "eventually" leaving me for the cute red-head below... But seriously, great wordplay Harris.

  2. This post is awesome! Maybe commenting should be illegal...that way more people would want to do it. Like drugs only replace the bong with a keyboard.