how to succeed at...hide & seek:

hide and seek is a wonderful game which measures intellect, ingenuinity, attrition and boredom.
if you wish to add "dominant hide and seek skills" to your resume, here is a brief list of strategies that can be implemented to increase your ranking:

the hiders:
-use the restroom before engaging in competition. there's nothing that ruins a good hiding spot faster than a killer bladder.
-turn off your phone. catchy ringtones may be cool, but they can also be uncool giveaways.
-control your breating. if you're a mouth breather, try going nose. if you're an ashmatic, just quit.
-location, location, location? false. in the land of hide & seek, it's stealth, stealth, stealth. therefore, channel your inner tom cruise.
-nevertheless, location is important. so as the creepy dude in indiana jones says: choose wisely.
-avoid hiding under beds. unless your life is actually a 90's sitcom, this hiding spot sucks. (and, if you do live in a 90's sitcom, become great friends with the object of your affection; it will take years for him/her to realize that you should be more than just friends...but it'll happen).
-be honest with yourself. if you played offensive line in high school you shouldn't be hiding in that cranny behind the couch.
-where would waldo hide? amongst the commotion, that's where. part of waldo's talent comes from immersing himself in distraction. hide in places with many goings-on.
-dabble in the taboo: bathrooms, parent's room, underneath the electrical wiring.
-become as small as possible. curl into a ball, a piece of macaroni, a childhood version of yourself.
-while hiding, think of terrible traumas you have incurred throughout your lifetime. these sensitive memories will keep you quiet.
-under no circumstances may you laugh if the seeker passes you. (this is a strangely valid reminder).
-when you are finally found, claim the seeker has cheated. tell him the round is played "under protest." consequently, you remain undefeated.

the seekers:
-count down softly, use this time period to listen for clues.
-eyes on the prize. but also nose, ears, cheek and tongue. don't be afraid to use your senses.
-remember that you are harry potter and the hider is your golden snitch.
-try to rattle your opponent. slander him/her verbally as you seek, trying to get a reaction.
-use your resources; round up pets to cover more ground
-if you are struggling, pretend to quit. this will anger the hider.
-if you are playing with multiple persons, use those you have found to narc out others.
-don't give up. don't ever give up. your reputation, self-esteem and self-perception are riding on it.